Since then, I set out to try praying prayers of lament.  My timing turned out to be pretty good, given events in the world.  And events in my own life.

In the process, I really found myself lamenting on two different levels.

Big Picture Lament

The first level of lament involved the bigger picture.  This bigger picture includes world events.  Events like civil wars, natural disasters, and economic downturns.  This bigger picture also includes systemic issues.  Issues of injustice, inequality, racism, and the like.

The crucial common thread in these bigger picture problems is that all of them are completely out of our individual control.  There is no decision we can make by ourselves that can fix these problems.  Our individual choices might be able to reduce our contribution to the issue.  Or, our choices might serve to alleviate some of the suffering involved.  But in the end, we cannot solve the problem all by ourselves.

Two bigger picture issues weighed particularly heavy on my heart the last few weeks.  The first is the Florida school shooting.  It is always a tragedy when this happens.  This time, I particularly hurt for the parents.  I had always thought primarily of the students, but this time I was particularly burdened for the parents.  Seventeen parents didn’t see their kids come home that day.  That breaks the heart.  And I cannot do anything to undo that day.   But I can lament.

The events in Syria also weight heavy upon my heart.  News coverage spills a lot of electronic ink debating who bombed who and telling us what the UN is trying to do.  Yet human suffering is occurring on unprecedented levels.  BBC news recently did a story that featured a little Syrian girl.  Her picture was at the top and she was quoted as saying, “At least in heaven there is food.”  True Despair.  Again, I cannot stop the fighting in Syria.  So, I lament.

Small Picture Lament

I found as I explored lament, another dimension of it emerged.  This is what I would call small picture lament.  This level of lament consists of all the hurt, pain and suffering that happens in our own lives.  In our own little worlds.  This is pain found close to home.  This is local.

Ironically, in small picture lament, we still don’t have much control.  This time the cancer strikes a family member.  This time the economic downturn causes our loved one to lose their job.  The tsunami strikes our hometown.  The effects of this suffering are felt nearby, and deeply.  And often we have no more control over these events that happen in our lives than we do the big picture events, like Syria.

Perhaps in the ultimate demonstration of God’s timing, within a week of putting up our post on lament I received some bad news.  Some events happened that could spell the end of my small business.  Nothing I did caused these events to happen.  Nothing I could have done could have prevented them.  And it is looking like there is little I can do to fix it.  Talk about hitting home.  This is time for lament.

Both Levels of Lament are Important

It is important that we as followers of Christ, lament on both levels.

Value of Big Picture Lament

Our social justice minded brothers and sisters in Christ helpfully remind us that as believers it is imperative that we know what is going on around us.  The Bible commands us to love and serve our neighbors.  Yet, if we are blissfully unaware of their needs – or even their existence – we can never fulfill the Biblical command.

One reason we avoid awareness of others, and in particular their hurts and struggles, is that we are afraid to enter their pain.  It hurts us to fully recognize others’ pain.  Especially if we are powerless to affect change.  We do not like to hurt.  We don’t want to hurt, so we tune out others who hurt.

Lament turns this thinking on its’ head.  Before lament entered the prayer tool box, we had nowhere to go with others’ suffering.  Through lament, we now have a place to take the suffering of others.  We can take it to God and process it with him.  Then we can act in whatever ways we can.

Small Picture Lament Vital Too

Like any thinking, this can be taken too far.  Some will teach we must be so concerned with others that we must never think about our own problems.  Or, that we are to utterly diminish our own problems in light of the ‘real’ struggles of others.  They will say, “How can you think about your problems like that, so many others have it worse.”

This is wrong thinking.  It is not wrong to acknowledge our emotion and feelings of powerlessness.  Even Jesus wept in front of Lazarus’ tomb.  It is wrong, however, to allow our feelings to become all consuming, to allow them to become central to our identity.  To allow them to rule.

Lament is a powerful two-sided coin when it comes to small picture hurts.  First, lament is powerful because it creates a context where we can express hurt and frustration.  We can let the emotion out, and we can be raw with God.  Peruse a few of Job’s laments, we might be surprised by what we read.

Second, lament also puts bounds on the expressed emotion.  As soon as we express the hurt and despair, we immediately shine the light of God on it.  We ask God to act.  Some else is invited to help.  A person who we openly acknowledge is loving enough, powerful enough, and wise enough to actually do something about the trouble.

We get the hurt out there but quickly fence it in.  Calls to God for help and reminders of God’s character put boundaries to the emotion.  The emotion is never allowed to overrun our lives or take over our hearts.

In the end, lament acts as a bridge from being emotionally and relationaly healthy to fully serving God.

It’s (NOT) About Time . . .

Time was a big question mark as I began my first few attempts at lament.  I knew lament was different than other forms of prayer.  Lament is not like Praise, or thanksgiving, or prayer walking.  These and many other forms of prayer are easy to put the clock to.  “I will prayer walk for 30 minutes.”  Simple and done.  But lament is more of an expression of emotion.  Thus, I was careful to not set unrealistic time goals for this type of prayer.  What I found was a very flexible way to pray.

Some Lament Was Short

I found some of my prayers of lament to be short.  That is okay.  Psalm 13 is a prayer of lament, and that Psalm contains only six verses!  King David was bothered by his circumstances, yet he found he was able to fully express his lament in six verses.  Lament does not need to be long to be helpful.

Not knowing how long I would need to lament, I planned to start my prayer block with lament, and with any time left, transition into my usual outline.  The outline presented in our post on how to pray.

I started with bigger picture issues that were weighing on my heart.  I opened my time with God and began to lament.  I explored and expressed to God my anguish over these situations in Florida and Syria.  Then I asked God to help.  I offered a few – weak – suggestions as to how he might intervene, but really I just begged him to do something.  Then I turned to recognizing his ability to do something.  I ended by praising God, which was the perfect segue to my usual outline of prayer that begins with praising God.

My first few tries at lament took only a few minutes.  Those few minutes we enough, however, to clear my mind and my heart enough to have a focused time of sitting in God’s presence conversing with him.

Sometimes We Have to Go Long

Sometimes pain hits closer to home.  At times, the suffering digs a little deeper into our being.

Like it did a few days after my first attempts at lament.  The day I heard the news I mentioned earlier.  The news that could spell the end of my business.  It only makes sense that when the bad news happens to us, the orders of hurt and frustration are many magnitudes higher.

Deeper emotion reasonably leads to longer lament.  Psalm 22 records for us a lament that is 31 verses long.  Job’ laments can run even longer.  Unsure what to expect, I sat down the day after getting this news to pray as I had before.  I planned to open my time with lament and then transition to my normal prayer habits.

This time however, the lament was different.  I really embraced the process.  I was compelled to really dig into each step of the process of lament.  I gave it to God.  I begged him to act in any one of numerous ways.  Or in ways I had not imagined.  I recognized and celebrated his attributes.

To my surprise, as I was lamenting, I suddenly heard my timer sounding.  I had spent my entire block of prayer in lament.  I was surprised I could lament that long, but that was how long it took to lift the weight that was resting on me.

Something More Important than Minutes . . .

It is important to not get caught up in how long we lament.  We learned that the length of a lament does not determine how meaningful it is.  The examples from the Scriptures teach us this, as does our experience.  Just lament as long as we need to.

What is more important to lament is honesty.  Lament cannot be meaningful if we are not honest.

The purpose of lament is to acknowledge reality, request help from God, and then be encouraged.  Encouraged because God is in control and is on the job.

If we are not honest with God, we short circuit lament.

First, dishonestly affects the quality of our relationship with God.  If we are untrue with our feelings, we are not being known by God.  We are hiding a part of ourselves.  No joy comes from fake relationships.

The second short circuit of lament is a byproduct of a fake relationship.  It is the sad fact that when presented with a difficult situation, many Christians see an opportunity to impress God with their strength or their faith, instead of seeing the situation as a time to seek help and encouragement from a loving father.  By seeing things this way, and by avoiding honesty, so many people miss out on the encouragement, hope and help to be found in God through lament.

Plants need good soil, plenty of light and water to grow.  If we want a plant to thrive, put it outside in the sun and give it some water.  Negative emotions are exactly the opposite however.  They thrive in the dark and in solitude.  When we are dishonest with God, when we hide these feelings in the closet, these feelings just grow.  They thrive.  And they eventually take over.  Being honest with God in lament puts these emotions in the light, his light.  And they are put in their proper place:  acknowledged but not in control.

We have a lot to gain by praying prayers of lament.

The post Tried It – Lament appeared first on One Year Prayer Experiment.

At the beginning, I wanted to see what would happen if I set aside thirty minutes every day, and took that time to pray.  We are now about three months in, one quarter of the way.

What I have learned or gained so far?

A More Tangible Sense of God’s Presence

A sense of the presence of God is such a subjective, intangible thing.  Many Christians fear such discussions.  We tend to prefer a God we can neatly define and categorize.  A God whose works we can neatly label.  But when we start to talk about feeling God’s presence or God’s speaking to people, we quickly grow uncomfortable.

I would often include myself in that category.  Determining the authenticity of such experiences is vital, and requires much discernment.  To simplify things, the church in large part has dismissed such experiences.  Years ago, reading medieval mystics forced me to wrestle with the reality of a tangible sense of God.  Mystics like Bernard of Clairvaux or St Theresa of Avila would describe ecstatic experiences of God.  St Theresa wrote of the time when God’s presence was so real to her, and the joy so great, that she wept for hours.  My Western, logic driven mind struggled to comprehend such an experience.

But such experiences are real.  I read the mystics’ experience.  I personally know Godly people who find great comfort in God’s presence.  And, as a new believer in junior high, I will admit I had a sense of the presence of God.  But with time, the ups and downs of life, and the sinking deeper into Christian culture – that feeling faded.

That has changed recently.  In the last few weeks, as I pray, I have started to become aware of God’s presence in a very real way.  Like Darth Vader on the Death Star when Ben Kenobi shows up, “I sense a presence . . .”

I know in my head, theologically, that God is omnipresent.  Psalm 139:7-10 clearly teaches that God is everywhere all the time when it says, “’Where shall I go from your Spirit?  Or where shall I flee from your presence?  If I ascend to heaven, you are there!  If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!  If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.”  (ESV)

So to be clear, my prayer did not cause an absent God to return to my location.  What happened is that my consistent prayer has made my heart sensitive to his presence.

I won’t mince words, this sense of God’s presence is pretty awesome.  As mentioned before, new-Christian me had a sense of God’s presence.  Over time, and life, that sense faded.  One of the things I had hoped to gain from this prayer experiment was a renewed sense of God’s presence.  And with a twinge of joy in my heart I am glad to report that it has returned.  Not that I like to agree with dastardly villains, but I am right there with Darth Vader when he finishes his sentence, “I sense a presence that I have not felt in a long time.”

More Tools In the Prayer Toolbox

Going through this year long experiment, new tools are constantly being placed in my prayer tool box.  I have discovered forms of prayer that are new to me.  Forms of prayer that have existed for many, many years – but I am only now learning about.  Forms of prayer like lament.  I am also greatly deepening my understanding of more familiar forms of prayer – like praise.

Thanks to this experiment, my prayer tool box has both new tools, and old tools that have been sharpened and tuned.

More Tools = More Flexibility

Before starting this experiment, I had one way to pray.  It was an outline taught to me years ago when I was a young Christian.  This outline is solid.  It is simple to use, easy to remember, and keeps prayer reasonably balanced.

But it was the only way I knew how to pray.  When life’s troubles were about to overwhelm me, I sat down and prayed my outline.  Learning new facts about God’s character from studying the Bible, joy welling up inside, I prayed my familiar outline.  God times or bad times, I had one basic way to pray. 

In our relationships with others, we intuitively know that different circumstances require different ways of communicating.  The way a manager will talk to an under-performing employee will differ from the way a preschool teacher will talk to his student.  The way my college football coach talked to me on the field greatly differed from how my mother spoke to me as a child.  It makes sense that different moments require different approaches.

Yet our prayer lives are often founded upon a single form of prayer – like mine has been.  By adding new forms of prayer to my experience, by adding new tools to the prayer tool box, I can now approach my conversations with God the same way most of us approach our conversations with others.  I use an outline for most of my times in prayer, the one we learned about it in our post on How to Pray, but there are times when just slogging through an outline is not the way to talk to God.  Let me give you a recent example from my own life.

A few weeks ago, I experienced a serious set back at work.  Bad enough to bring into question the continued survival of my business.  Sitting down to pray the next day, with so much pent up frustration and emotion, working through an outline was not going to happen.  Instead of stuffing the emotion and praying the outline, or skipping prayer altogether that day (and embracing the ensuing guilt), I realized this was the perfect opportunity to lament.  I spent the majority of my prayer time lamenting my situation, asking God to rescue, and praising him.  Praying a prayer of lament in that moment really set my heart right.

The next day, I was still a little bothered by my situation, but I did not want to dwell on the problems.  I decided a “praise binge” was in order.  One of my experiments was to only praise God for my entire prayer time.  This day was a great day to do that.  I just wanted to remind myself, and celebrate, how amazing God is.  So, I opened up a Psalm and prayed through it.  It was super encouraging.  It was just what I needed.

On the third day, with fear and hurt no longer swirling around inside of me, I was ready to return to my usual prayer habits.   I returned to my regular methods of daily prayer and settled back into my usual outline for regular prayer.

As we can see, it was great for me to have the tools of lament and of praise in my tool box.  Situations arose where certain forms of prayer where more fitting than others.  Knowing about these forms of prayer allowed me to use them – and have the right kind of conversation at the right time.

More Tools = More Authentic

These newfound tools have also made my prayer life feel more authentic.

Every single one of us has endured a shallow, fake relationship.  A relationship where people act like they know and care for each other, but the reality is that the relationship is shallow.  Words are exchanged, but no meaningful communication is occurring.  No one is known, and no one is being known.

These relationships live everywhere.  With our barista at the coffee shop, or with our coworkers.  Sometimes even at home.  I will even admit to them being rather common at the churches many of us attend.

The sad reality is that for many of us, our prayer life is the same way.  When we sit quietly before God, we are not interested in being honest with him, we are interested in impressing him.

When times are tough, we fell the need to impress God with our strength, or our faith.  “Everything is fine,” they tell God.  We put on our stiff upper lip.  At other times, we want to make requests to God, but instead of asking for what we actually want, we ask for what we feel we should want.  Or we ask him for what we think he will give us, since, “He would never actually give me what I wanted.”

Our time in prayer, for many of us, is our time to impress.

It should not be that way.  And putting more tools in my prayer tool box makes it easier for me to be authentic with God.  When I hurt, I lament.  When I am happy at seeing God’s hand at work, I praise him.  After recognizing his work in my life, I offer thanksgiving.  New tools make it easier to be real with God.

The post The One Year Prayer Experiment – Three Months In appeared first on One Year Prayer Experiment.

So, it finally happened.  I missed a day.

I committed to praying everyday for thirty minutes a day for one year.  Going in, I did not expect to be perfect.  I figured real life would happen and I would miss a few days over the course of the year.

Just over two months in, I had not missed a day and I was feeling pretty good about this whole thing.  The flu befell me – twice – and I managed to pray as I drifted in and out of consciousness on the couch.  We traveled for Thanksgiving and stayed with family, and I prayed.  Our family even did a few days at Disneyland, and I managed to get in my conversations with God.  Confidence in my ability to go the whole year grew.

I imagined that it was going to take something big to keep me from my time in prayer.  I would fall seriously ill.  A family member would go to the hospital.  The zombie apocalypse.  I was confident that I was going to get this done.

And what happened?  It was dumb.  My day got going and I just forgot!

We had a busy Saturday planned.  I slept-in a little thinking the rest would do me good.  That just made me late getting breakfast out for the kids as my wife had an event to go to.  That made for grumpy boys and a rough morning.  After breakfast it was off to pick up friends and go have some fun.  Then drop off the friends.  Lunch, then off to work across town for the afternoon.  Rush home in time for a date night with the wife.  Finally, knock out in bed.  And don’t even think about praying until the next day.  Doh!

My Failure Illustrates the Greatest Dangers to Our Prayer Lives

It is embarrassing to admit that I missed a day.  It is even more embarrassing to admit that I missed a day because I simply forgot to pray.  The story of how I missed my conversation with God is not, however, all bad news.  I learned a lot from it.

Through this experience, I came to recognize what are, in our time and place, some of the greatest dangers to our prayer lives.

Busyness Is Not the Culprit

A lot of folks at this point would expect a diatribe against busyness.  They would expect me to talk about how Americans are too busy and rail against how we have allowed ourselves to be consumed by busyness – or the things our busyness buy us.

But I live in reality too.  We all have responsibilities.  Families must be provided for.  Homes must be kept.  Communities must be served.  Relationships must be tended to.  There are many duties that we take on that we must fulfill.  Our real problem is not that we are busy, it is that we do not manage our busyness well.

The Threat of Poor Priorities

We all have a lot to do.  Everyone wakes up to a long to-do list for the day.

Often on these busy days there is a moment when we recognize that we are not going to get everything done.  The last TPS Report is going to have to wait until tomorrow.  That pile of laundry waiting to be folded is just going sit in that chair one more night.  At that moment when we realize we have more work than hours, something important happens.

Our mind starts to rank our list of to-do’s.  For many of us, this happens unconsciously.  After a look at the list, our brain starts to pick out certain tasks to do, and certain tasks to leave out.  If we are not intentional we will simply start picking out the easiest ones, or the quickest ones.  Or the ones we think will bring us the most pleasure.  Or the most praise.

And I am willing to bet if a person is overwhelmed by tasks and does not already have an established prayer life – they are not going to pick “pray for 30 minutes” first off of the list.

This moment is when we can begin to better manage our busyness.  We better manage our busyness by intentionally sorting our list of tasks according to our priorities.  If we are Christians striving to build meaningful prayer lives, then we intentionally decide to choose to pray first.

This was my mistake that day.  I failed to prioritize prayer.  I want to be a man of prayer.  But that morning I prioritized sleep over it.  Then I prioritized breakfast for the boys over it.  Then the boy’s event with their friends became more important than prayer.  Then going in to work. And so on and so on.  I failed to pray that day mostly because I failed to manage my priorities.

If prayer is a priority I will make time for it.  I failed to do so – and I failed to pray.  Pure and simple.  We will never find time for something unimportant to us.  We will always make time for something important to us.  Prayer is no different.

The Threat of Momentum

The other great, and every day, threat to our prayer lives we face is our failure to manage our momentum.  Or in other words, we fail to recognize when we go ‘in-mode’ and can’t stop until the list is done or we collapse at the end of the day.  We have all experienced those times when we start knocking things of the list, we get focused, we start actually getting things accomplished and so we just keep moving from one thing to the next with out ever slowing down.

Momentum got a hold of me that day.  I got breakfast out and cleaned up.  On to the boys’ event.  Knocked that out.  On to lunch.  On to work. Onward until the end of the day.  Looking back, I had some natural breaks between events, but I choose to keep moving on my to-do’s.  I was well intentioned.  I was trying to be helpful to people around me, people I love.  But I failed to manage my momentum.  I failed to push pause when I needed to.

I have found it is very difficult to control momentum.  It is hard to stop in the middle of the day, calm my mind, still my spirit and converse with God.  I do not think I am alone in this.  That is one reason I prefer, and recommend, prayer early in our day.  But sometimes, if we are going to be people of prayer, we need to be able to push pause, get out of ‘mode’, and pray.  And then even harder, hit play and try to rebuild our momentum.

Our Response to Missing a Day Reveals a Lot About Our Heart

If you choose to take up a One Year Prayer Experiment of your own.  You will likely miss a day over the course of an entire year.  Many different reactions to such a failure can be expected.  What ever the reaction is, I think they can reveal a lot about our heart, and our view of God.

If You Experience Feelings of Anger

Author Neil Andersen says anger is due to a blocked goal.  There is something you want, and when events occur that keep you from getting what you want – anger erupts.  So, when we miss a day of prayer, and we feel angry, we must ask ourselves the question:  What is it I am not going to get because I missed a day?

If we are feeling anger in this circumstance, my guess is that we are probably trying to get something from God by performing well.  If I pray every day, God will like me more and give me what I want.  Or, If I pray every day, God will owe me what I want.

Stop right there.  Here is some truth.  We cannot control God.  He is sovereign.  We cannot coerce God.  He is omnipotent, or all-powerful.  It is impossible for any human to put God in a position where he owes us anything.

While we cannot control God, we can appeal to God.  While the Lord is sovereign and all powerful, he is also full of grace, mercy, love, goodness, kindness and generosity.  We can ask God for things with a humble appeal, and then submit to his decision.  Being all-knowing and wise, he knows what is best anyway.

If we find ourselves in a place of anger, we must confess our attempts to control God or earn his favor.  Then trust God to take care of you.

If You Experience Feelings of Guilt

After one takes on a commitment such as this, and then fails to come through, it is very easy for us to fall into feelings of guilt.  It is easy to allow thoughts of, “I did something I should not have.” arise.  This is normal.  This is conviction.  Conviction is what causes us to stop, turn around, and head back to God when we stray.

At times however, these feelings are allowed to go too far.  When these thoughts change from, “I did something bad.” to “I am a bad person.” we have moved from conviction to condemnation.  Conviction inspires us to change and to return to God.  Condemnation tears us down.  It brings us to a spiritual halt.

When in the Grip of Guilt

When facing overwhelming feelings of guilt, we have two things to do.  The first thing to do is to keep things in perspective.  God does not love us or accept us because we are perfect.  Our pride and our enemy want us to believe this – in order to drive us away from God.  But this is simply not true.  God does want us to strive to be perfect, but we are neither saved nor kept by what we do.

As we process our guilt in perspective, zoom out a little.  For us to give in to the destructiveness of guilt and condemnation, we have to believe that God’s anger over one missed day far outweighs his pleasure at the three, five, ten, fifteen, thirty, or however many days we did pray.  Perspective.

The second thing we need to do when facing feelings of guilt is to remember grace.  Grace is defined by theologians as unmerited favor.  It means God gives to humanity gifts they do not deserve and could never earn.  We were made part of God’s family by his grace (Ephesians 1:5).  God grants us the gift of salvation by his grace (Ephesians 2:8-9).  Grace is what allows our relationship with God to begin, and it is grace that allows it to continue.

So, when we struggle with guilt, and the voices in our head tell us, “I am a bad person,” stand on grace.  Remind ourselves of the truth, the fact that “I am a bad person – who was chosen by, loved by, adopted by, and saved by God because of his grace.”

One Other Response

At the moment I realized I missed a day, I was tempted to feel both anger and guilt.  In that same moment I chose to go a third way.

I remembered grace.  I reassured myself of the truth.  Even though I missed a day, God does not love me any less.  And even though I failed to do something I said I would, my salvation was not at risk – because no part of it depended on my activity anyway.

I also chose to learn from my mistake.  I looked closely at what happened.  Understanding how that day unfolded, I recognized my failure to prioritize and to control momentum got the best of me.  It got the best of me that day, and looking back, I can see that these have been a struggle on many Saturdays and Sundays.  Going forward I have decided to always pray first thing on the weekends.  It is tough to wake up early on those days.  I desperately want to sleep in, but I want to pray even more.  So, I wake up early and get my time with God.

Choose to redeem your mistake by learning from it.  Like a coach I had in college told us once, “Make an error once and it is called learning.  Make an error twice, it’s a mistake.”

After reminding myself of God’s grace and choosing to learn from my error, I simply had to make one more choice:  Just keep praying.

When the next day came, I prayed again.  I picked up where I left off and kept going.  Or as one little blue fish from the big silver screen might say, “Just keep praying, just keep praying . . .”

The post It Happened – I Missed a Day of Praying appeared first on One Year Prayer Experiment.

Starting today, I commit to pray:

• Everyday
• For 30 minutes at a time
• For 1 year

Why would I commit to such a thing?

I have gone through quite a process to get to this point.  It all started not long ago when I came to the startling realization that I needed to pray.  I realized I had a huge gap in my relationship with God, and it became clear that prayer was the solution.  Because I did not pray, I was missing out on something.

You can read all about this process in my post titled “The Funk – Conviction – A Challenge.”

I invite you along on this experiment to keep me accountable and to maybe inspire you to begin a prayer experiment of your own.

A Swirl of thoughts and Emotions

As I begin this journey quite a few thoughts and emotions are swirling about.

Fear

One of them is fear.  I am not the most disciplined guy in the world.  I am afraid that I simply will not keep this commitment – that I will get all excited, get week in, and then flounder.  I harbor fears that my experiment will all come to naught because I just won’t follow through.

There is also a little fear that nothing will change.  I have experienced periods of greatly satisfying prayer.  And I have endured dry times.  Admittedly, I am to blame for most of these dry times.  It’s my fault my devotional life is lousy when I am the one not showing up.  It’s also a built-in excuse.  Can’t blame God for not showing up if I don’t.  But when I do show up, there is the fear he might not.

But I choose to trust he will.

Excitement

In the swirl is also a lot of excitement.  All those periods of satisfying prayer – and great intimacy with God – have all been times when my prayer life was consistent.  Others I know have had similar experiences.  I hope to get back to that.  Or to something different, but better.

Curiosity

And to be honest, there is also quite a bit of good old curiosity in the mix.  I just want to see what happens when both God and I show up for our time together.

The post The One Year Prayer Experiment Begins Today! appeared first on One Year Prayer Experiment.

Walking with God certainly has its highs.  Among our circle of friends, we have seen many prayers answered.  We have seen diseases healed, we have seen hearts softened, and we have seen relationships restored.  In my own life I have seen God change the way I look at things.  I have experienced hope.  Best of all, I have experienced times of great intimacy with God.

But, if one walks with God for any length of time, they are bound to encounter a period of time where they will not be soaring in the heights ‘on the wings of eagles.’  There will come into our lives times where God simply does not seem present.

Out of faith, or duty, we will sit down to pray.  We will pour out our hearts, but we will not feel that anyone is listening.  It might feel like we are the only one who showed up for our devotional time.  We might have remembered that God promises to be with us when there are two or more of us present.  So off to small group.  Out to the service project.  I am sure it was comforting to be around our brothers and sisters in Christ, but it just didn’t feel like God was there.  These times can really make us feel alone, or unsupported.  It may feel like talking to a brick wall.

Sometimes this is how praying feels.

Conversely, we may feel the presence of God, but we do not feel the activity of God.  We pray that prayer – one more time.  That same prayer you have desperately prayed for God to answer many, many times.  That sin we struggle with, seems only to gain a firmer grip.  We pray, but nothing seems to change.  We might begin to feel abandoned by God.

Losing any sense of the presence of God or the work of God in our lives will tempt us to think that God is no longer with us.  Or no longer on our side.  These feelings are indicative of being in that place some call the ‘spiritual funk.’  It is that place where God feels distant and we have little or no motivation to pursue him anymore.  In a sense, one feels a little spiritually lost.

This funk goes by many names.  Times of spiritual dryness.  Times when our walk with God is not close.  Many believers have been in this place.  You may have been to this place before.  You might be a regular there.

I am in this place — I am in a Spiritual Funk

I know in my head that God is present.  There is enough theology stuffed into my mind for me to know that God is always present and that he is always in control.  I have seen his hand actively guiding my life in the past.  In recent years however, his plan has consistently diverged from my plan.  In my work, in my ministry, and in my health.  Even in the choice of where to live.  God’s plan has not been my own.

My proud heart has taken great issue with this.  I pray for certain things, but nothing I desire comes about.  I make plans that I think are in line with God’s will, but they only implode.  Often after a great deal of effort has been invested in them.  I get frustrated.  I try to sit quietly before him, but I do not feel his presence.  It is tempting to feel like he is not on my side.  In my times of need I do not feel upheld or encouraged .  The God who once talked to me and showed me where to go, has fallen silent.

I am in the spiritual funk.  Disconnected from God and spiritually sapped.

Something needs to be done.

The Conviction

In this spiritual funk, I quickly realized something needed to be done.  But I did not know what to do.

In my mind I know that God still loves me and that I am still his child.  But I was not experiencing the joy and intimacy of a parent-child relationship.  Nor the peace.

As we get started, let me get it out there that I am a book geek.  I love to read.  My default when I face I problem that cannot be easily solved is to crack open a book.  This situation was no different.  I turned to my library and opened a book.  Then another.  Then I bought a few books.  Sifting through a whole pile of books, nothing seemed to be scratching the itch.

Then I opened a book of sermons by Jonathan Edwards.  Edwards was an American pastor who preached in the mid 1700’s.  Known for his powerful preaching that pulled no punches, I looked to the past for help.  In this book I found a sermon titled “Hypocrites Deficient in the Duty of Prayer.”  In this sermon he says,

“The spirit of a true convert is a spirit of faith and reliance on the power, wisdom, and mercy of God, and such a spirit is naturally expressed in prayer.  True prayer is nothing else but faith expressed.  Hence we read of the prayer of faith; James 5:15.  True Christian prayer is the faith and reliance of the soul breathed forth in words.”

Edwards is telling us that every authentic believer has a spirit of faith and a spirit of reliance.  With the spirit of faith, the believer hears that God is powerful, wise and merciful – and knows that it is true.  With the spirit of reliance, they act as if these traits are true about God.  They move forward in uncertain times because they know God is powerful.  They seek – and treasure – God’s guidance because he is wise.  In fact, they get to the point where they cannot imagine making any major decision without seeking God’s direction.  And when they stray, the true believer runs to God, knowing there will be mercy.  They know their relationship with God depends on it.

And how is this belief and dependence expressed?  By prayer.  “True prayer is nothing else but faith expressed.”  Chew on that for a second.  If I do not believe God is powerful, will I ask him to work in my life and in the world around me?  No, I won’t.  If I believe God is not wise, will go to him for guidance and advice?  Of course not.  If God is simply vindictive, and without a shred of mercy, will I ever have reason to bring my sin before him?  Absolutely not.  If I do not believe the Helper is able or willing to help – I will never ask for it.

On the other hand, if I believe God can and will help me, that belief will be demonstrated by my going to him and seeking help.  How do we go to God and seek help?  WE PRAY.

Enter stage left:  CONVICTION

The Solution

Jonathan Edwards opened my eyes.  I was struggling to connect to God because I was struggling to pray.  I was struggling to pray because I was struggling in my faith.  Looking at my circumstances . . . I wasn’t so sure that God was powerful.  Feeling a lot of pain and frustration in my life . . . I was not so sure mercy was available to me.  Expecting no help or no comfort, it is no wonder I did not pray.  Or struggled when I tried.

The cry of the disciples becomes my cry, “Increase our faith!” (Luke 17:5)  But how on earth do we do that?  If there is such a strong connection between faith and prayer, it seems the way to fix the prayer life, to increase one’s faith, and to get out of the spiritual funk – is to pray.  I need to exercise my weak faith muscles with the exercise that trains them best:  regular prayer.

The Challenge

Processing all of this, a book I read in high school came to mind.  Remember, I’m a book geek.  Back in my high school days I played a lot of sports.  So, whenever a famous Christian athlete came out with a biography I quickly received it as a gift from some well-meaning friend or family member.

One of those was a biography by A.C. Green.  A popular NBA player, he wrote a book called Victory:  The Principles of Championship Living.  It was a good story about his decision to become a Christian and his subsequent growth in faith.  The particular part of his story that came to my mind involved a challenge his spiritual mentor gave him.  His mentor challenged him to start praying.  A.C. replied that he did not know how to pray.  In response, his mentor told him to simply set aside 30 minutes every day and pray.  Learn to pray by doing it.

Enter stage right:  CHALLENGE.

This is what I need to do.  I need to grow in faith.  My connection to God must be restored.  I need to get out of the funk.  And I believe the way out is to pray.

So, I have decided that I am going to pray.  I am going to try an experiment.  I am going to take on the same challenge A.C. Green took on.  Except I am going to do it for one year.  I am going to set aside 30 minutes every day for one year and pray – and I am going to see what happens.

To keep myself accountable and hopefully to help others, I invite you to take this journey with me.

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